8 Lessons For My Younger Self – Ashmeet Kapoor
28 September 2021 - kingscross

As kids head back to the classroom, take some time to reflect on your own learning. Get some inspiration from our member and life coach Ashmeet Kapoor, as he shares some of the lessons he’s learned over the years.

‘This is what I’d tell my younger self if I could go back in time:

1. Make having fun your top priority in life. Infuse play into your purpose. Remind yourself everyday that you will die one day. Live with that awareness.

2. Feelings are not bad, and you’re not bad to feel certain things. All feelings are equal. But when “unpleasant” feelings, like fear or anger, have arisen, it’s not the time to act or make decisions. It’s the time to be kind to yourself, and go inward.

3. Connect with what you want instead of playing the game and focusing on what seems like something one “must” do. Separate what the mission needs from what you need. And look after both, but know which one you are in service of when. Think about what you’re really looking for behind what you think you want.

For example, you might think you need to get funded – what is it you are really looking for – is it a way to feel confident (by getting some validation), or does your company actually need money to survive, or do you want the status of a funded company? Another example – you think you need to hire a Head of Marketing – what is it that you really need? Is it someone to bounce off ideas with, to not have to manage some people or processes in the team, do you need more creativity in the team, or do you just want to feel reassured knowing that another smart and experienced person is now in your team? There’s nothing wrong with having any wish. Be honest, drop all preferences, and clarity will automatically flow when you get to your core truth. Take action from clarity, not fear or comparison.

4. It’s ok to feel disconnected from your mission from time to time, or even all the time. It’s ok to wonder “is this really what I’m meant to be doing?”. The feeling or thought is not the problem, the fact that you avoid it is. Be aware of the “void” you feel inside, that all humans feel. Meet this void regularly. Accept it. Embrace it. And be curious about what you’re doing unconsciously or impulsively in an attempt to fill it.

5. Do these everyday, even if just for 30 seconds each:

    1. Remind yourself of your strengths
    2. Visualise the future you want
    3. Be grateful for what you have, and remind yourself of things in your life that are beautiful.

6. Challenging situations and people are your biggest teachers. Meet them with gratitude. Don’t wait to say thanks once you have learnt the lesson. Say thanks in advance because you know a lesson is coming.

7. Inquire into what your self-limiting beliefs might be when you don’t feel good about yourself, around certain groups or people, instead of carrying the load of “I’m not good enough”. Also, check if you really need to and want to continue being around them. If the answer is no, then stop.

8. Exercise caution when criticising, and none when appreciating. Find something to appreciate in everyone. Say it. If it’s too awkward to say it, write them a letter even if you never send it. But find a way to channel your appreciation.’

Ashmeet is an entrepreneur turned coach, with the mission of helping people infuse play into purpose. He built his company – I Say Organic – into a leading organic food business in India over a decade. What he learnt from that journey was that pursuing something he felt passionate about wasn’t enough when it came to feeling fulfilled or happy. A major insight for him was that his beliefs about how he and things “ought” to be were the cause of his discontent. Since then, he has been on a journey to “unlearn”, and to instead connect with and trust what he truly wants, his values, and his intuition. Through coaching conversations and workshops, he helps people and groups connect with their highest intentions, and discover how they can learn to live light-heartedly while maximising their potential and creating impact. His wish for all his clients is to live joyfully, and work purposefully. His website has more details.

Ashmeet holds a Masters in Entrepreneurship from Brown University, and a Bachelors in Electrical Engineering from The University of British Columbia. He was born and grew up in New Delhi, India, and now lives in the UK with his wife. Among his favourite topics and things are mindfulness, plant-based food, nature and mountains, spirituality, planet-friendly technologies, entrepreneur well-being, and conscious relationships.

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